So, many of you know that I too have been caught up in this Twilight frenzy. I tried to cloak my giddy fascination with the books under the guise of "responsible parenting." The princess was checkin' 'em out, so I figured I see what the hell this Meyer lady was infecting my kid with. Okay, duh, Stephen King, in a head to head competition with JK Rowling to see who's got the bigger literary johnson, Stephenie Meyer will forever fall several inches short. That said, you can't deny ol' girl's weaving of naive, pre-teen romanticism with short bursts of action (and on occasion, blood).
The thing that I don't like, and I utter this at the risk of sounding like a Twilight hate-nerd, is that every chick (young and old) who reads the books struts off thinking that she's the physical manifestation of Bella Swan. Bitch, please...you ain't no Bella Swan!
Bi-otch, you ain't smart like Bella Swan!
The last book you read was thin and had glossy pictures of celebrities...oh, that's right it was a supermarket tabloid. When was the last time you spent extra time figuring out Calculus?
Bi-atch, you can't cook like Bella Swan!
Bells serves up that homecooked grub for her pops the cop. Don't heat up a hot pocket and call it cuisine. Three words: Ladies Home Journal.
Bi-etch, you ain't ryde or die like Bella Swan!
Homegirl throws caution to the wind for love...constantly...to the point where you sometimes question her aforementioned "smarts." She's always making herself potential vampchow because of the company she keeps. But, it's all for love...which grown-ass people realize is just as stupid as it is sweet.
To be fair, Bells also uses her friends; strings boys along; and is deceptive to her father, but hey...she's 17. That's all normal, right?
Yeah, I almost thought I was Bella Swan too...but I checked myself just like I'm checkin' you now. No thanks needed...money is appreciated.
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