While the world tittered with a hypothetical musical showdown twixt the uni-gloved Prince of Pop and the purple panted Funk-Rock heir apparent known as Prince, the industry churned out grade c imitations of the aforementioned dynamic duo in hopes of bringing more black heat to the charts and lining their pockets with wads of cash.
One of the acts was Ready for the World.
With frontman Melvin Riley looking like a lesser talented cousin of Michael Jackson, and generously borrowing a sound that could have come straight from Paisley Park, these Michiganders' only significant musical contribution to Black Music History is "Oh Sheila."
Oh brother.
These guys were actually talent musicians. But, while the synth, canned drums, and bass come together to give this joint a li'l groove, ultimately the song is dead on delivery for three reasons.
1) Don't step to the Purple One.
As if they hadn't already borrowed generously from elements of Prince's style and sound, the title character of "Oh Sheila" was widely believed to be a not-so-subtle reference to Sheila E, sometime Prince collaborator and rumored love interest. How the hell you gonna try to make it big singing about makin' naughty with someone else's paramour? This is a musical David and Goliath, the humble band of lesser knowns trying to keep in step with the the post- "Purple Rain" mainstream juggernaut known as Prince...only in this case David gets dismembered and buried in the desert.
2) British much?
What the hell is it with Melvin's hackneyed British accent? I can almost see the late night studio decision that yielded such a colorful screwup. "Hey, wait guys...oh shit (taking a puff from his joint)...what if, damn...I said the intro in and English accent...that'd be fresh, right?"
Crickets.
That accent was worse than Kevin Costner's in Robin Hood. You remember those kids in high school who went around talking in terrible English accents after watching "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" for the first time? Worse! The prevailing mainstream belief is that black people with British accents sound silly, uptight, and uncool. I happen to like the accent. As a general rule, though, wannabe funkish hipsters should refrain from trying to sound like Gordon Brown before the House of frickin' Commons...especially when they're supposed to be spitting game to Sheila mo'freakin' E. Major party foul.
3) the "oh, oh, oh" Sheila part.
Sounds like Melvin's humping the mike stand. This part made me blush as a child and still makes me cringe. I guess it could be worse, at least he's not saying "skeet, skeet, skeet."
After one more chart hit witih "Love You Down," Ready for the World faded into oblivion, perhaps rightly so.
Here's to you, Ready for the World, you soul-less bastards (and I mean that in the nicest way possible), you are today's Lesser Moment in Pop Culture.
Check out a live lip synched performance from the faux funksters.
1) I thought this WAS prince for the longest time. Pretty ballsy though to call out Prince's girl like that.
ReplyDelete2) Slick Rick, dude. Maybe because he's ACTUALLY British, but he doesn't come off uptight or uncool. Maybe they eye patch balances it out.
3) I freaking played the crap out of "Love You Down." I was way more about it than "Oh Shiela." It made me feel so sexy-- as sexy as a chubby, white, 13 year old Okie can feel (Which is to say not sexy at all.)
Side note about the video: Excuse me for my geek out Video Production rant, but who the hell decided to put black guys in all white for a television performance? Their clothes are so bright you have to iris down the lens so much leaving their faces unrecognizably dark.
Now purple-- there is a color a black guy can wear on TV.